ReEmerging

Well… it’s been a year.

There are so many things to talk about and express and yet, I still feel somewhat deflated after the year we’ve had. How do you accurately put words to what you’ve experienced as an individual, while also reading about and watching the rest of the world experience this same reality in their own ways?

I’ll be honest. For me personally, being in lockdown was exactly what I needed, without knowing I needed it. A chronic helper- being asked to stay at home, to be with my husband and children was something I was willing and able to do. I heard the call as being asked to allow everything to be as it was. I first felt panic, then felt frustration, and about 3-4 days in, I was almost ecstatic. It hit me that everyone was being asked to drop everything they thought was important and… improvise! 

I adored not having to be anywhere at any given time, catching up with friends who were experiencing the similar sensations was the biggest breath of fresh air. People were taking time to unwind and learn to cook or take up a craft. There was so much more relaxing and sharing the cool things we were doing with our spare time on social media. Remember when people used to sit on their patios and serenade the city or sing in unison from patio to patio? Improvisation was healing broken hearts and it was connecting us amidst the confusion. 

And then a few weeks in, as the boiling point started to rise, it hit me. Not everyone knows how to improvise, and in the minds of many, many people, the thought of having to do so was terrifying.

Being a highly sensitive individual, I was often tapping into that collective energy and would feel angry and scared, nervous or depressed. It was like riding waves that made no sense to my logical brain because my family and I were safe and sound. Lessons in differentiating between what emotions were mine and what were someone else's became a deep lesson I was to examine.

When it got to the point that the newfound creativity was being replaced by more upsetting stories and anger-fueled reactions, I began to withdraw. The internal conflict I was experiencing was too much for me and I needed time away from social media in order to reconnect with my own inner voice, my intuition. 

The need to pull back and refocus the lens has helped me recognize the importance of me adding my own perspective among the yelling and screaming that’s happening on the collective front. I hit the edge of self-isolation where I could see that continuing to withdraw was becoming unhealthy. Locked away due to fear-based thoughts about my value or ability to add light into the darkness around me became very real. In becoming aware of it, I did what I teach my students to do… Make a new choice.

So here I am, vulnerably writing out my truth in order to connect with you again. I’ve used the pandemic as a time to continue taking in information on the topics that drive what I do professionally in order to continue remind individuals of their brilliance. I've spent many hours learning to teach games online and was thrilled to have been a part of a Spolin Teacher Training class taught by Viola Spolin's granddaughter, Aretha Sills. I also completed my certification in teaching Neurosculpting®, a modality of meditation based in neuroscience that helps to rewire and restructure patterns of the brain.

I am excited about the endless possibilities that are beginning to stream into my consciousness around how to meld Improvisation with Neurosculpting® to provide even more tools that individuals can use to relieve stress, find more ease and connect to themselves and the world around them.

Baby stepping into this next chapter and looking forward to its unfolding.